Sunday, April 24, 2011

Justin Bee-bah

This is my youngest sister Aubrey. Yes she looks like an adorable 10 year old boy. She already knows so keep it to yourself, especially if you are the mail lady, the mini golf attendant, the countless waiters and waitresses, yeah the list goes on and on and will probably make for some funny material later but for Aubrey (PS she's almost 23 years old)

Now this is my middle daughter Lucy. Precious, pretty as picture and full of personality. Thank you, thank you very much, she certainly is.

And just so we're all clear this is Justin Beiber.

Jeez, this is a lot of work for a simple little story. Fast forward to earlier today little Lucy said to me, "Mama, Auby is not so bee-yoo-full." And I said, "What?! Why isn't she beautiful?" Lucy says, "She doesn't look bee-yoo-full." So I asked her, "What does she look like?" and she says "Her look like Justin Bee-bah."

April 24, 2011

Yesterday we had a surprise party for my sister. She and her husband are renewing their vows next month for their 10 year anniversary. When they got married in 2001, she was 7 months preggo with #2 and they decided to get hitched on a Monday and were walking down the "aisle" that Saturday. There was no time for bridal showers (or bachelorettes seeing her delicate condition). Her wedding was small, about 15 people were there, they got married in the woods at our grandparents house in front of the gazeebo, it was cute and sweet but definitely shotgun. So this renewal of theirs is the big party she's wanted these past 10 years and never got. I figured this was as good a time as any to throw her the bridal shower/bachelorette she never got either...I use the terms loosely because it wasn't a rip roaring affair nor was it a large group. I think there were 12 of us but it ended up being a lot of fun.

my mother and sister

This was the highlight of my day (besides seeing my sister have a great time with her besties.)

Of course this was taken after we polished off bowl #2. Here's how I made it.

White Sangria
1 bottle white wine (plus a little more til all the fruit was covered; this was AFTER adding the other 2 cups of alcohol)
1 cup vodka
1cup triple sec
1/2 cup sugar
1 granny smith apple sliced
1 pear sliced
i lemon sliced
1 lime sliced
1 orange sliced
10 large strawberries cut in half
1/2 can of pineapple chunks
3 slices of watermelon cut into bite size chunks
a fistful of green grapes

I put all the fruit in the bowl, sprinkled it with the sugar and added the wine, stirred, then added the vodka and triple sec, stirred it again. I let it sit together for about 1.5 hours and when the guests arrived I added a little ice to to the bowl. I also put out a bottle of club soda in case someone wanted it to be weaker. It was friggin awesome, I wish I had taken a picture of it BEFORE but I was too busy to even think of it!! Obviously the second bowl didn't have a chance to "sit" but it was gone in about 45 minutes so apparently it isn't a necessary step! ha ha! Can I just say hurray for spring and summer because this is a new family favorite. Yum. Make it.

Oh and Hoppy Easter, All!

Thursday, April 21, 2011

April 21, 2011

My weekend includes sangria making, surprises, Easter things, and crafts.
I took my oldest to the store with me while the other two napped today and she was a DOLL! Great listening, no fits, making very profound observations for a 4.5 year old, just great. As we were heading home I asked her why she couldn't try to be more like that when her sisters are with us so they can learn from her good example and she gave me some spiel about worrying about not getting new things when the other girls are with whatever.

Monday, April 18, 2011

Nate Berkus and Design Dilemmas

Yes, this is a photo of the actual television as taken by my husband's aunt and emailed to me. It's also super un-flattering but hysterical because I am waving like it's my show.

So a couple of you already know and may remember that I was on the Nate Berkus show back in October. I wrote to the lovely Mr Berkus in the hopes that he could solve my "design dilemma" (his term, not mine). The dilemma being that there is not a single closet on the first floor of my house. This means no coat closet, broom closet or space to hide a vacuum in a pinch or hide shit when people are coming over. This fact escaped us until we moved in because the guy we bought the house from was crazy neat and there was no clutter or a thing out of place every time we came here before the closing. The six wardrobes in the basement should have been a red flag but I was too busy thinking about the huge backyard and woods for miles and the great school system to give a fart. Fast forward to last October and I am sitting in a pile of shoes, coats, hats and mittens watching the Nate show and think, ya know what I'm gonna write to him, he will come and build me a closet and all will be right with the world. So I did. I sent an email to the show and left to go pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got home half an hour later I had an email from someone saying they wanted to talk to me about my dilemma. Immediately I thought it was spam. I almost deleted it because I thought it was going to blow up my inbox with viruses. I did nothing. Then a few hours later the phone began to ring and people started leaving messages and I was all what the f***? Once my husband got home I told him and he said what are you waiting for, call them back. So I finally did. The producer wanted me to go to the show that Friday. This was Wednesday. It was the morning taping so I had to be on a train the next day and spend the night in NYC so I would be there on time (they arranged all the travel and lodging in case anyone is wondering). My youngest was only 4 months old at that time so she had to come with since she refused bottles and wasn't yet on baby food. So then of course I needed someone else to come to watch her while I was taping (AKA my mother). It was settled and the next day we were off as soon as Mr Man came home from work to watch the other two cherubs. I say watch but they are his children so it's not like he was babysitting or something. The whole thing was started and over in BARELY 48 hours. Long story short I spent more time with Mr T than with Nate (the "celebrity guest" that day), Nate did not offer to come with a construction crew and remodel my lower level to allow for some closet action (WTF?), and I got a huge china cabinet that he said I could use to store boots etc. Really? We joke that we should take a picture of it open with coats and boots spilling out of it with a note that says, "Thanks, Nate". But that would be impossible since it's still in my garage, shrink wrapped and on a palette. So thanks for taking up my whole garage with this ginormous piece of (lovely) furniture while I still have shoes and coats coming out of my ass all over my kitchen. My sister says I am an ungrateful bitch. Obviously she has jealousy issues....
Oh and yes Nate and I hugged it out during taping. I got to watch almost the whole show from the audience (they pulled me out right at the last segment because baby wanted to get her boob on). Mr T was a super lovely man who loved Violet, he held her and laughed his Mr T laugh as she tried to pull off one of his gold chains as he handed her back to me.
I don't know why I chose to write about this now other than the fact that I never did AND when I tried to get the gardening gloves earlier today I couldn't reach them because of that huge friggin thing sitting in the middle of the garage. Let's take bets on when it actually comes INSIDE the house.

My mother checking her bed for bedbugs. Freak.

Waiting for my 15 minutes.

V and the T Man.

Stealing bling.

Stealing Mr T's heart.

Like he couldn't have spared ONE.

The love notes from my little sweethearts I came home to.

Sunday, April 17, 2011


Having a sister sleepover tonight and working on big secret stuff for a big secret thing! Hopefully these cherubs will keep their lips zipped. As if.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Pay Phones

Does anyone ever see any of these bad boys anymore? As the last survivor on earth without a cell phone I notice these things and can't remember the last time I actually SAW one! WTF? I will not cave, I will not be forced to buy a cell phone, I will just use yours since you know you have one.

Hot Glue and Other Fun Stuff

I have taken a pretty long hiatus from all things crafty. I fill the occasional Etsy order as well as birthday/new baby gifts but no longer do I craft every day or even every month for that matter. I was chatting with a friend yesterday about how having kids has left me little time to do things I want to. Maybe this is what the grandmother at my 4 year olds preschool means when she says to me repeatedly "It won't always be like this." And trust me my kids are very well behaved (in public) and I am usually the one holding the door for OTHERS as I lug my brood to and fro so I've never been quite sure what she meant. BUT maybe I am onto something.
The other day another mother at the school brought her daughter in wearing a big flower clip she had made and my girl was quite green with envy so when we got home I told her I can make you one, Lovey, don't you fret. Then today THREE more girls were wearing clips like it. Oh my, it's a flower clip epidemic and my kid wants in! So here is my chance to oblige and at the same time get a little crafty. Oh joy!
Sidebar: Now the other thing I no longer have any real time for is exercise, is this a bit of an excuse because I hate sweating? Maybe. But I have never been so sedentary in my life, we bust a move all day but it's running errands and doing chores and by the time I know it, it's 8 o'clock and my (growing) ass just wants to sit on the couch and have a cocktail and pass out in the middle of Idol. That's about as much as I want to say on that subject at the moment. Just thinking about making time and doing it gives me a migraine.

I don't want anyone to misunderstand how I started this little rant. Having kids has meant less time for a lot of things I used to do but don't get me wrong, I LOVE these cherubs. They light up my life and fill my nights with song...and screaming matches with a bit of hair pulling...but mostly love.
Now off to make headbands!

Monday, April 11, 2011


No, not the real kind. The nasty Hollywood puke inducing kind. I am still having agita over a movie that my husband decided to watch this past weekend. We were watching TV together when I made the poor decision to get up and leave the room for about 10 minutes. When I return there is a movie on called Human Centipede. Anyone? I am like what the hell is this? He is laughing because he is a doucher (new word we made up to taunt each other, kind of like you're a douche bag but we're too lazy to actually say douche bag). He is a fan of horror movies, I am not. But this movie wasn't even terrifying, it was repulsive. I don't know if there is a word in my vocabulary that could adequately describe just how gross the premise of this movie is. I am NOT going to get into it, feel free to google it. But please have Tums and a barf bag handy. In fact, this is how I even know most of what happens in this gross flick. Thanks, google. I only saw about 10-15 minutes of it but then I just had to go to the net and hit enter. That was my first mistake, my second mistake was reading the summary of the movie. After reading it, I felt an intense need for a bottle of Tums and a lobotomy. I am not sure why it bothers me so much since nothing like that would ever happen. I think I am just disgusted that people can actually think of such revolting things. Sooooo, at this point I'm sure you're off to look up why I have my panties in such a bunch, Godspeed, people.

Saturday, April 9, 2011

The Bugs Are Back In Town

It's spring! Welcome back all you repulsive creatures that shouldn't even think twice about stepping one gross little hairy leg in my house. I hate you all.
This little ditty was inspired by a disgusting black spider sauntering around the living room just now as if he owned the place. Obviously he is now in several pieces in a piece of paper towel in the trash.
Good night and good luck (to myself, I am the one that has to sleep here.)

Tuesday, April 5, 2011


I turned 33 yesterday. Yeah, that's old. My grandfather sent me an email the other day (he will be 81 tomorrow so go him) and requested my presence at "the national holiday luncheon" for April 4th. I RSVP'd (via email to keep that geezer on his toes) that I'd go as long as they rolled out the red carpet. Fast forward to yesterday and there was this hideous orange carpet strip circa 1952 all stained and grody lining the stairs to the front door. I had to laugh! Not to mention this was not to be outdone by the plastic Big Bird, Bert & Ernie that were lined up next to it paparazzi style. I then, of course, had to clean it all up since they are 81 (in case I hadn't yet mentioned that). So happy birthday to me!!