Monday, April 18, 2011
Nate Berkus and Design Dilemmas
Yes, this is a photo of the actual television as taken by my husband's aunt and emailed to me. It's also super un-flattering but hysterical because I am waving like it's my show.
So a couple of you already know and may remember that I was on the Nate Berkus show back in October. I wrote to the lovely Mr Berkus in the hopes that he could solve my "design dilemma" (his term, not mine). The dilemma being that there is not a single closet on the first floor of my house. This means no coat closet, broom closet or space to hide a vacuum in a pinch or hide shit when people are coming over. This fact escaped us until we moved in because the guy we bought the house from was crazy neat and there was no clutter or a thing out of place every time we came here before the closing. The six wardrobes in the basement should have been a red flag but I was too busy thinking about the huge backyard and woods for miles and the great school system to give a fart. Fast forward to last October and I am sitting in a pile of shoes, coats, hats and mittens watching the Nate show and think, ya know what I'm gonna write to him, he will come and build me a closet and all will be right with the world. So I did. I sent an email to the show and left to go pick up my daughter from preschool. When I got home half an hour later I had an email from someone saying they wanted to talk to me about my dilemma. Immediately I thought it was spam. I almost deleted it because I thought it was going to blow up my inbox with viruses. I did nothing. Then a few hours later the phone began to ring and people started leaving messages and I was all what the f***? Once my husband got home I told him and he said what are you waiting for, call them back. So I finally did. The producer wanted me to go to the show that Friday. This was Wednesday. It was the morning taping so I had to be on a train the next day and spend the night in NYC so I would be there on time (they arranged all the travel and lodging in case anyone is wondering). My youngest was only 4 months old at that time so she had to come with since she refused bottles and wasn't yet on baby food. So then of course I needed someone else to come to watch her while I was taping (AKA my mother). It was settled and the next day we were off as soon as Mr Man came home from work to watch the other two cherubs. I say watch but they are his children so it's not like he was babysitting or something. The whole thing was started and over in BARELY 48 hours. Long story short I spent more time with Mr T than with Nate (the "celebrity guest" that day), Nate did not offer to come with a construction crew and remodel my lower level to allow for some closet action (WTF?), and I got a huge china cabinet that he said I could use to store boots etc. Really? We joke that we should take a picture of it open with coats and boots spilling out of it with a note that says, "Thanks, Nate". But that would be impossible since it's still in my garage, shrink wrapped and on a palette. So thanks for taking up my whole garage with this ginormous piece of (lovely) furniture while I still have shoes and coats coming out of my ass all over my kitchen. My sister says I am an ungrateful bitch. Obviously she has jealousy issues....
Oh and yes Nate and I hugged it out during taping. I got to watch almost the whole show from the audience (they pulled me out right at the last segment because baby wanted to get her boob on). Mr T was a super lovely man who loved Violet, he held her and laughed his Mr T laugh as she tried to pull off one of his gold chains as he handed her back to me.
I don't know why I chose to write about this now other than the fact that I never did AND when I tried to get the gardening gloves earlier today I couldn't reach them because of that huge friggin thing sitting in the middle of the garage. Let's take bets on when it actually comes INSIDE the house.
My mother checking her bed for bedbugs. Freak.
Waiting for my 15 minutes.
V and the T Man.
Stealing Mr T's heart.
Like he couldn't have spared ONE.
The love notes from my little sweethearts I came home to.